A Fistfull of Hollers

I would like to give a shout-out to the following things/people/ideas.

Brazil - No shirt laws = awesome.

Medicine - Is it just me, or does anyone else not want to live to be 120 no matter how many how well I control the vote?

Fish - For adapting to the loathsomely high amount of mercury we give 'em.

America - For entirely forgetting about a war because Bush can't get elected again anyway. Nice priorities.

Celebtities - For being able to repeat what they read. Don't let anyone tell you you're a one trick horse. Reading and whining count as two tricks.

Ron Paul - Anyone who is supported by a political group comprised of nothing but strippers gets my vote.

Europe - For turning to Aethiesm. That just means more God for us, folks.

Heath Ledger and Family - No jokes here. We'll miss ya.

Kevin Federline - We lose Heath, and you're still here? No wonder Europe is loosing it's faith.

Cheese Its - You're delicious! But really, we don't need the Garlic and Earaser Dust flavor. Stick to the original.

Pluto - Yeah, I know I've already said it, but you're still a planet to me!

Enkidu - Gilgamesh really stole the show, but you had a good attitude about it.

Jamie Lynn Spears - For proving all those hateful tabloid people... absolutely right.

Russia - Because despite being mostly unpopulated on a person-per-square mile ratio, your citizens still manage to mail a few of 'em our way to become true American citizens, that is violent, lazy, and able to place all blame squarely on the shoulders of one man who neither makes, nor actually enforces any policy, and can, in fact, only veto one provided congress doesn't just go ahead and vote it in anyway.

Pluto

This Blog, though created for a class, has been given a free hand in its subject matter. Therefor, I would like to adress an issue that I know is bothering many people right now (1/25/08).

Pluto.

Now some may think that the controversy surrounding the downgrading of our solar system's most remote, (and therefore most beloved as absence makes the heart grow fonder), planet, Pluto, (that's planet, not planetoid) has died down due to the time elapsed and because no one cares. They are wrong. I think I speak for all of us, my friends, when I say that I am angry at the scientific community for their heinous theivery of one of our planets. That's right folks, Pluto was discovered by an American, Percival Lowell, right here in America, that is, Flagstaff, Arizona. And we cannot allow these bleeding heart liberal geniuses with there media driven "accurate science" agendas to take away from the amount of stuff Americans like to pretend they own. We cannot allow an American discovery to sullied by the "oid" suffix based on nothing but proven facts and observed evidence. It's about the spirit, folks. The American spirit that says "I didn't give a damn about Pluto untill you told me it wasn't a planet, and now I'm mad because I've been really bored since celebrities stopped talking about the war!"