BOO Satanists!

Who worships Satan? I mean to say, lets suppose you really believe in a Satan. Why the hell should he care if you worship him or not? Can you even literaly worship something that isn't a god? The Judeao Chistian Satan hates people! Hates 'em! He left heaven because he didn't want them stinkin up the place. Why would he care about a bunch of maskera abusing rejects or the odd Norwegian Metal Band? You think he likes death metal? Really? Oh yeah, prince of lies sits around listening to a bunch of Illiterate Norse Men, drinking miller highlife, and doing his air guitar. And killing cats? Yeah, that will impress the being that tried to fight God. Cats. Just workin your way up, I guess. How stupid do you have to be? Come on, just 'cause you can't land a cheerleader is no reason to cut up small animals, but if you do, lets not pretend that anyone but the groundskeeper that has to clean it up even cares. Finally, the whole persecuting Christian thing. This has to be the act of the absolutely most simple minded, heavily deformed brain on the planet. What are you trying to do? Give them more faith? Hey, dumbass! What do you think happens when you kill them? If Satan did have followers, he wouldn't choose a bunch of no-talent, lady haired chumps from finland and the jerks that hang out at Denny's. Here's an idea, get a hobby!